Diabetes report card - for whom?

This month has been extra hectic. Not only am I managing "life" - mother of three, music teacher, piano teacher, recorder teacher; I am also taking two classes at the local community college. Last winter, I thought I needed to go back to school to become a nurse so that I could work in the healing profession, and work specifically with others with diabetes. Thankfully, it dawned on me last month that that might not be necessary...! But in the meantime, I am studying anatomy and physiology, music appreciation, and in general....taking on too much. 

Those of you with diabetes can guess what has happened to my blood sugar recently. It's been less predictable, and running higher than I'd like. Stress is proven out on my OneTouch screen sometimes when I'm unaware. 

So when my endocrinologist's office called on Monday to say my appointment for that afternoon was cancelled due to an emergency in the office, I was a tad bit relieved. Although I have an absolute DREAM of a doctor - she's not only an endo, but she lives well with type 1 also! - and she would never, ever berate or judge me for my recent highs (we're talking 300-350s highs on occassion), I have this performance expectation of myself, and frankly, I want the "good grade!"    Last A1c was comfortably under 7; my blood pressure and cholesterol were sterling, I had lost 6 pounds but without any problems with lows.... I was glowing for weeks, basking in the beauty of that 'A' report card!!  Now, knowing I'd not earned an A this quarter, I was given a free hall pass... a few more weeks to "do better." 

Silly, really. For whom am I trying to "do better?" !!! Diabetes management is not about getting the good grades; its about what those good grades mean, of course; and what the scores we're nervous about sharing generally mean is, our health and our well-being has been compromised. 

Tomorrow, I get on a plane from Portland to San Diego to join in Taking Control of Your Diabetes' 100th conference! I can hardly wait! It will be a great refresher for me. There is nothing like being surrounded by thousands of folks who, like me, want the "good grades" and are all too human in our work we do to get there. Inspiring each other, supporting each other, and learning from each other, "Yes, We Can....! "