The timing of this blog is interesting. (Isn't timing usually "interesting?"!)
Last week, I entered the fortieth year of my life, I watched my three year old twins and their five year old sister dance in Parent Performance Days at ballet, and my husband honored me with a delightful surprise party. Inspiring!
Last week, we Americans elected Barak Obama to lead our country with integrity, vision, compassion, and....inspiration!
Last week, in a 1 AM fog of semi-consciousness, I knew "I need sugar. I want to live. I'm not ready to die. Things are getting really juicy..." Thankfully, I had a tattered ziplock bag with about a dozen sour apple (my least favorite) glucose tabs next to my bed. I awkwardly grabbed for the tabs, shadowy moonlight guiding my way...wondering, "Am I dreaming?" Chomped a few tabs, grabbed again for my glucometer. Started talking to myself, "Turn the light on Heather. Prick your left hand, since you picked up the tabs with your right. You want an accurate reading. Just keep going, you're going to be okay. It's not your time yet..." The meter read 31. I ate some more tabs. The sweat started seeping from my pores, and the hunger monster roared. I checked again (if I'm checking, I'm still alive....)... This tim, 35. Finished the bag of tabs. Now my husband is awake, and worried. I reassure him I'm okay, I set my basal rate on my pump to "1%" for the next hour, and I check again. 69. Yay!!! I really am okay this time! Knowing (hoping) my blood sugar will continue to rise now, Daniel sets the alarm for 3 AM so I can check again, and I fall deeply asleep, exhausted from this emergency in my body. Grateful, oh so grateful, that I woke up and that I will get another day of life; I will get another chance... I slept in a bit that morning, (as much as one can in a small house with three energetic children)...still recovering from the blood sugar rollercoaster, but I woke up - Inspired to connect with the greater diabetes community out there. Inspired to be a healthy example for my daughters. Inspired to share the realities of living fully, with hope and courage and fear and frustration, but ultimately, Living Well with Diabetes...
My friends at TCOYD - Taking Control of Your Diabetes - are participating in an Inspiring fundraiser, one which I encourage you to check out! It is the Global Diabetes Handprint, and you can visit it at www.DiabetesHandprint.com. In choosing one word to represent how I feel about diabetes, I explored many... but the one I decided on was Constant. Diabetes is Constant. This is not a judgmental word. Like our breath, like the tides, like our love for our children.....diabetes is constant. Sometimes it is big and rough. Sometimes unpredictable. Sometimes joyful, often demanding my attention. Diabetes is a teacher, and my best lessons come when I am mindfully focused, attending to it with a healthy detachment and loads of love.
When given the choice, what else would I choose?
I am honored to share with you, and I look forward to your stories.
- Heather :)
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1 comment:
Thank you Heather! Happy Birthday too!
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